Anyone in the northeast who has watched TBS knows about Sonic, the acceptable-if-not-inspired chain of drive-in fast food joints. The commercials are fun, and the food looks good. But they didn't exist up here, not for a thousand miles. (So why was Sonic advertising up here? I'm guessing they bought national ad time because it was easier than picking 91 of the top, say, 135 markets.)
Which leads to a peculiar fact of life in the northeast: when a Sonic restaurant now opens, the line not only goes around the block, it not only creates traffic jams, it does so for months. Imagine if there was a sixty-day wait to go rent Troop Beverly Hills from Blockbuster. Or the price of a turkey wrap increased to $45. And people accepted it without complaint. That is the power of Sonic.
At least, that's the power of one such Sonic. Another Sonic is turning 20 today. Get him a cake, or some downers. Because it looks like Sega might not be doing that much for him. Sure, there's an upcoming game, but after Nintendo threw Mario a big 25th shindig they set the bar not just for the proper gift for such a diamond anniversary but the year that we should go making a big deal out of things. Not 30, and not 20, but 25.
So go fail some more classes at FSU, Sonic. (You know he picked a party school, you just know.) Keep living the life of someone whose head is 70% aqueous humor. You've got another five years before we're going to make a big deal about you. Not that we're making a big deal out of Link and Zelda's 25th either, though. Sniff.
But wait..what's that behind your back? Aw, you guys remembered! You guys are the best! Friends 4-eva!