Sunday, May 8, 2011

5/8: Super Moniker Brothers

I've got a Google Alert feed set up for "Super Mario," which brings in a lot of noise and a little bit of signal. For instance, if you have a blog and decide, now, to review Super Mario Sunshine, I will know about it, because Google will tell me. Some guy reviewing a nine-year-old game should not be "news," but it is "new" in that it wasn't online yesterday, thus it sneaks in. I don't mind.

Still, there's something else that's been bugging me. I accept that I'll accidentally hear about Mario Batali, or Mario Balotelli -- Balotelli I hear about just about every day, he's a huge tabloid celebrity exclusively in my perceptions of the world. And that's fine: they're celebrities, albeit not the ones I usually follow when I'm learnin' myself about the video-game machines.

But now a new Super Mario has joined the list: mario Draghi. Draghi is Italian, the leader of Italy's central bank, nominated to take over the banking system for the entire EU. He is a serious businessman, to say the least, and boy oh boy should he not be nicknamed Super Mario like he's some mohawked West Ham striker. Just because your first name is Mario does not mean you get saddled with Super Mario as your nickname, alright? Not everyone is super! Super is actually pretty easy compared to running a series of banks so they don't implode, taking the country/CONTINENT with them! Maybe we can try a little dignity instead of jumping to the most obvious nickname choice? I mean, if this guy's name was Albert, would we call him Fat Albert? The shoe's gotta fit. Unless this guy is some sort of gamer, unless he plans on fixing the economy by calling in Bo Jackson from Tecmo Bowl (who can do anything, let's give the man the respect he deserves, and call him Signore Draghi.