Tuesday, May 10, 2011

5/10: Raise a pint to Super Mario Balotelli

There's a new Super Mario out there, and he just earned his name.

The following is not, repeat, not part of a John Hughes film. "Super" Mario Balotelli, English footballer, saw a kid hanging out around the stadium on a school day. He asks the kid, "what's all this then," and the boy replied "Nuffink." (I have translated what the said from actual-English to how-I-assume-the-British-speak. I will no longer do so.)

Balotelli finds out the kid is being bullied at school. So he does what not many people outside of wish-fulfillment fantasies do: he drove the kid (and his "mum," as the UK papers called her: they really do say that!) to school, and had the kid pick out the bully in question. Under Balotelli's mohawked eye, the two kids shook hands, possibly while saying "what what." Balotelli then drove off in his white Maserati like Batman except awesomer.